Wednesday, September 8, 2010

1. Big Friend

1. Big Friend
The funny thing about being a boy growing up in the country, is that no matter how many times I wash my feet, they always seem to be black.  I went downstairs to eat my eggs before school, but as soon as my mom saw my feet, she gave me that look she always gives me that basically means, “go upstairs and wash those feet so I’m not embarrassed to call you my son”.  She was so sensitive about my bruises too.  Every single time I had a bruise on my leg or arm, she would say with a nag, “People are gonna think your parents beat you if they see those bruises Tyler!”  What a silly thing to think! I’m not even five feet tall yet, so if my pops was gonna bruise me, how could he reach my legs?  Nobody ever gets bruises on their head either.  My mom said I’m just growing into my feet and that’s why I trip all the time, but I trip a lot.  I don’t know if I trip more than normal guys, but I sure do fall on my wood stairs a lot.  I know my feet are growing really fast, because my mom takes me to buy new shoes all the time.  I like high-top All Stars the best, because I can run and they dry out fast when I get ‘em muddy. 
The worst part about being a kid is definitely going to school.  My teacher is such a dummy.  She thinks I’m so smart, because every time we play heads-up seven-up, I look at their shoes so I never lose.  She told my parents that I’m very smart for a 3rd grader.  I like to talk a lot and tell people about my summer.  Maybe even after Christmas, I will tell people about my winter too.  Wanna know how to be the coolest kid at school?  You have to have a big friend.  I have a big friend named Luke.  He is twice my size!  My mom said we should just adopt him, but I like to sleep on the top and bottom bunk depending on the day, so I’d have to sleep on the top all the time if he moved in.  The best part about having a big friend is definitely the safety.  I get to say anything I want when Luke is around and nobody does anything.  The truth is, he would never hurt a fly, but nobody else knows that.  One time, we were riding our bikes in the summer by the swamp and this big momma goose came out of the bushes and even though Luke was there, it hissed at us and chased us all the way down the road!  I’m not even lying about that, either!  He is afraid of girls, but I always try to make him say hi to them.  This one girl, Sam, is way cooler than the other girls.  At recess, she comes over to me when I’m standing in line for tether- ball and talks to me about stuff.  Sometimes I hold her hand, but I don’t like to.  If you start holding their hand, then they want to be your girlfriend.  Then, everyone will make fun of you.  Luke always played on the playground with the other big guys.  I don’t know how he runs with his big shoes that he never ties.  I always double-knot my shoes on the porch before I get on the bus.  School is fun sometimes though.  I like my PE teacher a lot.  He makes us do stretches before class, but I love playing kick ball.  When I wear my high-tops, I always kick home runs.  They all know I’m good too, because when I get up to kick, everyone scoots way back.  I think it’s because I always kick my foot in the dirt and make a little hole with the toe of my shoe before I kick and that really intimidates them all.  I take it really seriously, because kids just think they can stand around when they’re playing games, but if you want to win, you have to try hard.  When I’m at school, I usually just hang out with Luke.  We eat lunch together, sit next to each other in class, and wait for the bus together.  When we are allowed to talk in class, we just talk about our fort that we’re building.  Nobody else knows about it, not even my parents.  There is this part of the forest by my house that has big trees that are perfect for building a fort.                           

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